


you may, go

by orbitalknight



Category: Kamen Rider Drive
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Spoilers – Kamen Rider Drive Saga: Kamen Rider Mach
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 08:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17804213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orbitalknight/pseuds/orbitalknight
Summary: Following the events of Kamen Rider Drive Saga: Kamen Rider Mach.What happened to Kouichi Kano in the warehouse with Koya Nishihori wasn't a one-time occurrence.This is Gou Shijima's case to unravel.With any luck, Chase is waiting at the end of it.





	you may, go

_“Please, wait!”_

_The shingou axe is cold in his hands, despite the ambient heat it was so recently exposed to. His heart is pounding, so is his head. His hands, however, feel oddly steady. He doesn’t feel Kiriko’s eyes on him, even though he knows that she’s watching. The voice of his father, still metallic and distorted, comes from what remains of the Gold Drive belt. He isn’t listening to it. He’s heard enough already._

_He’s waiting on the axe to make this last decision for him. And there’s his answer, like clockwork._

_Banno Tennjurou is still screaming when the axe comes down upon him. The belt and his consciousness shatter as one._

 

***

There’s a goodbye on his tongue when Gou startles awake. He’s tasted it before. It doesn’t take as long as it used to, sometimes still does, for him to get his bearings, check the calendar, catch his breath. When he had that nightmare for the first time, it had been just days after the real thing. None of the feelings had gone fuzzy at the edges yet. Now that it had been almost four years, he was getting used to it. Maybe that wasn’t the right way to phrase it. When you watch a movie enough, you know the timing of every word, every pause in the orchestral score, it writes itself somewhere deep. Gou could almost think of the nightmares that way, everything so memorable only for the repetition. But it wasn’t a perfect metaphor. He’d lived it. There hadn’t been any music.

At least he knew what had brought up the memory with such urgency. The calendar had confirmed his suspicions. Well, there were good and bad anniversaries. That was something he’d said to Reiko, way back when. They were still pen pals the first time he’d told her about it. They were pen pals again, now. The proximity of memory had been too much for her, especially given the rough start to her freedom, and she’d requested her supervised parole to take place away from the city. The thing between them, whatever it was or wasn’t, hadn’t been able to stand up to the distance as anything but a friendship. Gou couldn’t complain about the good terms they were on, he was glad that they still sent letters and were remaining confidants at the very least.

The dream had brought up something else he’d talked to Reiko about, a question that tugged at the back of his mind with the same frequency as the nightmares. He’d never told her all the details of what went down between him and Banno, but after the case of daughters being manipulated into killing their fathers, he had to wonder. What she would do if she saw him again and had everything at her disposal to make him disappear, that is. This was after they knew just how bad Koya Nishihori was at dying, so it wasn’t an entirely impossible hypothetical. Gou had danced around asking the question, softened it with verbal acrobatics like he was good at, but he needed to know, not just for her.

Reiko had taken a long time to answer. Gou couldn’t exactly fault her for that. It wasn’t an easy question, even after whatever lengths he’d gone to make it go down a little more smoothly. In the end, she’d settled upon the answer that what mattered most was being as little like her father as possible, even if that meant his continued existence. It was a good answer, Gou had said so. But something cold had twisted its way into his gut. What he’d done had been the right thing, he was certain of that. But the question of perpetuating something in that dark family history was still there. Gou had killed Banno and Nishihori. He couldn’t take that back for the sake of righteousness. Hell, he probably wouldn’t if he could.

Gou wants to write Reiko another letter today, maybe. On his desk, lined up in perfect order, are two signal bikes and one shift car. He hasn’t decided yet which one will keep him company today, but that can probably come after actually getting out of bed. Usually, it’s one of the bikes. Gou has a job interview today for a local magazine, in the photography and graphic design department. He hasn’t been that hasty looking for work, really. Some of his photographs from abroad made him a solid chunk of money, and he was sure that wanderlust was going to grab him again, so it wasn’t worth settling down. He was still waiting on that gust of wind that would sweep him off his feet, back onto the road, but the weather had seemed particularly stale recently. Gou wouldn’t admit it, but the sedentary life wasn’t all that bad as a change of pace.

The nightmare wakes Gou before his alarm, but he doesn’t feel like laying around along. He takes a shower and gets dressed, throwing on a new shirt from the last time Professor Hendrickson sent him mail from the states. Breakfast was a quick endeavor, especially since he isn’t all that hungry. Gou has time to kill, but he’s itching for something other than writing a letter. Reiko can wait until later in the afternoon, so he could tell her how the interview goes. Right now, Gou wants to take a ride, but nowhere too far. Something about his bike, the way the wind parted around it as he speeds past cars and scenery, always settles his head. A homebrew remedy for bad anniversaries. He’ll let the wheels take him where they will.

Gou drives around the Special Investigation Unit headquarters twice before he figures that it’s a fine place to loiter. With any luck, he might even be able to bother his sister on her break. It might be nice to talk to her about all this if she’s not too busy. His brother-in-law would also do just fine. There’s a third person, too, who Gou sometimes specifically waits around to see. Given the state of his head today, though, that particular encounter may be worth avoiding. Gou parks his bike a little ways off, to take a decidedly tactical approach. He can’t tell from outside if it’s a busy day today or not. He gives the bike an affectionate pat before heading into the fray and then checks the smaller bike in his pocket. It’s not the miniature version of the one he was just riding, today. This bike is purple, with flames on the sides. Gou lifts it for a better look, spins the front wheel with a thumb.

“Let’s see what they’re up to today, eh, Chase?” Gou pockets the bike again.

He saunters across the parking lot. It’s too empty to really show off with a quick handstand or a flip, but he can still make a show of traversing the asphalt with a certain grace. Since the discontinuation of the Drive Pit, even though they still visit sometimes, especially Rinna, the Special Investigations Unit has relocated to central headquarters. This does make lurking, even with no malintent, a little more difficult. At the old location, Gou was a familiar face. People didn’t tend to question him hanging around with his camera, sometimes they’d even let Kiriko know he was there. It wasn’t all that long ago that Gou had been at central headquarters on obstruction of justice charges, either. Still, he prances right up to the entrance, hands in his pockets, and loiters like the best of ‘em.

It takes a good while for anyone to notice him, somehow. Gou doesn’t exactly have an issue with lacking a presence. He waits, kicks around some rocks, considers actually calling his sister rather than betting on her walking outside at an opportune moment. It’s the last person he wanted to see, the unnamed third on his list, who decides to say something first. Not Rinna or Kyuu or Gennpachiro, all of whom would be less lucky than Kiriko or Shinnosuke but still decent options. It’s Kouichi Kano, in his deep blue suit, with his too-familiar face. Everything about Kano is too familiar, actually. Gou doesn’t realize that he’s been locked on to until it’s too late to scoot back across the parking lot.

“Gou Shijima,” Kano’s voice is lighter than Chase’s, but that doesn’t stop the icicles that seem to shoot through Gou’s chest, “You know the metropolitan police department has a no-solicitation policy, don’t you?”

Gou’s grip on the miniature bike tightens exponentially. He hasn’t spoken to Kano since the case with Nishihori almost two months ago. Still, he manages to crack a half smile. “Yeah? Good thing I’m not selling anything.”

Kano’s gaze slips to the pavement, almost apologetically. He frowns. “It was meant to be a joke. I didn’t think you were actually breaking any rules.”

“Oh,” Gou nods, but his chest is painfully tight. _Chase would say that too, wouldn’t he?_ “That’s good, then”

A long and awkward pause ensues between them. Finally sensing this, Kano opens his mouth. Closes it again. Opens it once more to say: “Officer Tomari has been coaching me. On how to make more friends. Though I don’t exactly see the point of such a thing.” Kano clears his throat, “In any case, I believe what Officier Tomari would say I should do in this situation is inform you I am on my break. Would you like to get coffee, Gou Shijima?”

Gou tries not to stare at him. He can’t exactly say no, or that he’s busy, as that is very obviously not true. If his hands weren’t in his pockets, they’d be shaking. He wanted the company, didn’t he? That was the whole reason he was here. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he ran into Kano today.

Gou shrugs. “Sure, why not?” He hesitates before smacking down a hand on Kano’s shoulder. “I’m sure Shinn-niisan’ll be proud of you.”

Kano stiffens, eyes widening, mouth tightening. It makes Gou almost wish he hadn’t said anything. The shift bike is digging into his hand. It’s going to leave a mark if he can manage to let go of it.

The moment breaks as Kano manages a smile, falls further to pieces as he speaks. “Shall we, then?”

Gou bounces a little to make some distance between them, follows it with a cartwheel just for good measure. He gestures at Kano. “Lead the way.”

The coffee shop that Kano takes him to is just a few blocks from the central headquarters. It’s quiet now that the early morning rush has passed. They don’t really talk on the way over, and Kano insists on paying for Gou’s drink. The policeman himself orders a black coffee. He doesn’t add anything to it afterward, either. Gou, who has picked something particularly sugary for himself, cannot find it within him to be surprised.

The table that Kano picks is by the window. Gou watches him sit down, noting the lack of stiffness. Sometimes Chase would drop by as Gou was hanging around the Department of Motor Vehicles cafeteria, back when the Special Investigations Unit was still there. The Roidmude didn’t need to eat, so he would mostly stare, sometimes ask a question or three. Gou regretted how full of ire his answers probably were. But the point was, when Chase sat down you could almost hear the steam hissing off his joints, he was so stiff. But it was kinda charming, you know? Especially in hindsight. Gou fidgets with the signal bike in his pocket and tries to think less about it.

“What did you order?” Kano is holding his to-go cup without a sleeve, but clearly in no state of discomfort, “I like it here, but they must think I’m boring for always choosing the same thing.”

“Hojicha latte,” Gou takes a sip, finds the taste temperature to be acceptable, “They don’t make ‘em like this America, y’know?”

“Really?” Kano tilts his head, almost catlike, “Maybe I’ll try it. Next time.”

Silence again. Gou crosses one leg on top of the other, leans an elbow on the table. He stifles a yawn. He’s trying not to make eye contact with Kano, who is staring at him a manner distinctly reminiscent of Chase. He checks the time on his phone. Still about an hour until his job interview, but no telling how long Kano is going to be on break.

“Gou Shijima,” Geez, is the guy ever going to call him by anything but his full name? “Excuse my saying so but... You look tired.”

Gou startles just a little, makes an expression like he’s tasted something sour. That’s no good, huh. Pretty unprofessional. “Ah. Guess I didn’t sleep that well.” He brushes off the unpleasant expression with a laugh.

Kano leans forward in a way that can only be described as painfully earnest. “Why is that?”

Something in Gou’s chest loosens a little. “Around the anniversary of something bad you always end up thinking about it more, right?”

Kano doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, the second Global Freeze. Officer Tomari was responsible for stopping it, wasn’t he?”

There’s a whole hell of a lot Gou wants to say to that. He didn’t ever go public as Mach to anybody except the Special Investigations Unit, and back then Kano was still collecting speeding tickets. He doesn’t really want to give Shinnosuke all the credit. “Y-yeah. Yeah. My sister was there too, you know.”

“You dreamed about it?”

“Something like that.”

Kano nods, brow wrinkling in concentration. “I see,” the line of his lips tightens, just for an instant, “I’m... sorry?”

Gou waves the apology off. Even the half confession of what’s going on his head makes him a little antsy. He doesn’t want this to turn into an interrogation. Time to turn things around. He stands, and in one grand motion spins his chair so that when he sits again, he's straddling the backrest with his legs, and crossing his arms on top of where a person would usually lean their head.

“So, Kano,” Gou fixes him with a more serious expression, “Shinn-niisan’s coaching you on making friends, is he? How’s that going?”

“It is going... very poorly. Apparently, I am ‘obtuse’ and a ‘poor communicator.’” Kano doesn’t use air quotations, but the emphasis is obvious, “Though I haven’t been finding as difficult around you, Gou Shijima.” Kano’s face wrinkles up in the same way as before. It’s so familiar it hurts.

Somehow Gou finds half of a smile among the stuttering beats of his heart. “Yeah? Huh.”

He’s three steps out the door of the cafe when he realizes that Chase’s signal bike isn’t in his pocket. He does a few seconds of a panic-induced macarena before turning around, terrified it’s already been picked up. He must have set it down at some point, or it fell out of his pocket, surely it hasn’t gone anywhere. It can’t have gone anywhere, right? There was that time, back in the lab, with the Shift Car... But Chase wouldn’t just leave him like that, would he?

Gou is so preoccupied that he smacks directly into Kano. It’s a solid impact, he has to take a few steps back. His head spins a little, so at first that’s the reason he thinks for a moment the person he just bumped into isn’t Kano at all.

Because the way Kano stands is relaxed but alert, it doesn’t wrinkle the sleeves of his suit. It’s natural, he’s a policeman ready for action. That isn’t how he’s standing now, holding the little purple bike in one hand. His arms are stiff, almost pushed forward, shoulders squared. The expression he wears is different, too. It’s tighter, almost.

The arm that holds out the bike in that moment does not belong to Kouichi Kano.

“Chase!” Gou can’t seem to find the rest of his words. His brain is sparking, the engine refuses to turn over. He runs a hand through his hair, a shaky, rapid motion.

_The warehouse. Reiko. Nishihori. Chase had been there back then too, hadn’t he? Gou had thought his brain was just oxygen starved from his recent stunt dangling from the ceiling. He was sure it wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been real, right?_

“Gou,” But it _is_ Chase’s voice, there’s the way it drags along the lowest vocal range, “It is important not to be forgetful.” He holds the bike out again, with more intention.

“I know that, I know that!” Gou curls his hand around the extended end of the bike, “Listen, Chase–”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish. As soon as the signal bike passes into Gou’s hand, the stiffness drains out of Kano’s body. Gou has to hurry to catch him as he nearly collapses. He gets one arm underneath Kano’s to prop him back up and stuffs the signal bike in his pocket with his free hand. His brain is shooting off thoughts at mach speed.

The policeman is disoriented, naturally. “Where? I...” Kano brings a hand to his forehead, wincing. The pained expression shifts into a frown as he gets his bearings. “Gou Shijima. Are you to blame for this?”

Gou is intensely preoccupied, so it takes him a second to comprehend the accusation. This does not exactly make him sound less guilty when he says: “What? No-no-no-no.”

Kano grunts, clearly not 100% convinced. Which is fair enough. He pushes Gou away in an attempt to stand unsupported but isn’t entirely successful in the endeavor. Gou has to catch him again.

“I’ll walk you back to the station, ok?” Gou is insistent, but his head is still spinning, so he hopes Kano won’t suddenly decide to be talkative.

Kano thinks about it for a moment before nodding his agreement.

Even though it isn’t a long walk, Kano manages to get his legs back under him by the time the two of them make it to the front door of central headquarters. He still looks distressed, though, finding composure harder to regain than balance. Gou hardly registers saying his goodbyes to Kano, he’s back across the parking lot, the signal bike is warm from how tightly he’s been holding it. He needs answers, but first another drive, some way to get his thoughts to straighten out, stop doing high-speed doughnuts.

The race had started a long time ago. For the first time in three years, Gou swears he can see the finish line. 

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello!
> 
> i finished drive recently and loved it a whole lot more than i expected to. and now i'm writing this because the movies were also really good? 
> 
> gou shijima is a good little man and i want him to be happy.
> 
> as always, comments and feedback are super appreciated!


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